Deal with your Difficult Boss

Nothing is more destructive in the workplace than difficult bosses. Every employee has a series of bosses over their working career. Most of us have already completed our corporate internship and are very much geared to take up managerial responsibilities in various organizations across a multitude of functions in the next six to eight months. This is also quite germane to the upcoming batch.

Hopefully, most of the bosses are competent, kind, and even, worthy of trust and respect. Unfortunately, too often, employees have difficult bosses who impact their desire to engage and contribute at work. Most studies regarding employee turnover and exit interviews   indicate that employees who quit their job are most frequently leaving their bosses, not necessarily the company or their job.

It is quite an apparent fact that when we have a problem with our boss, our options for dealing with the situation are limited. But there definitely is way out. With some conscious effort one can certainly overcome this difficult situation.

1. Check your emotions at the door. People who are angry, anxious, or depressed often do not convey the message they intended to deliver. Although you may have every right to feel angry at your undermining boss, approaching him/her while you are angry will likely create a distraction from the real problem. Your emotional upset becomes the focus

2. Manage your emotions and practice some assertive conversations prior to approaching your boss. Ask a friend who can be both objective and supportive to give you feedback (this can be grueling when you enter the corporate life). When expressing yourself, do not be vague in what you are describing. Give specific, concrete examples of what you are referring to.

For example, stay away from “You are constantly undermining my efforts in my job” because implicit in that statement is an assumption that your boss is aware of what he/she is doing. Instead, it is better to spell it out for your boss: “When you dismissed my report that I submitted, which I spent a great deal of time on, I felt overlooked and dismissed as an employee. I would really appreciate when you give me constructive feedback you also acknowledge my efforts.”

In this assertive statement, you are taking responsibility for your emotional reactions to your boss’s behavior, as well as making a specific request for the future. There is no blame that is being placed on your boss, which will put him/her on the defensive and further undermining behaviors. Additionally, it may be helpful to express to your boss your perception on what he/she is doing (again with cited specific examples) and try as a team to brainstorm possible solutions to the problem.

3. When you have an incident with your bully boss, document, document, document. If it’s not in writing, it didn’t happen. As much as possible, try and disconnect your emotions from your interactions with your boss. Keep in mind that an attack on you is often masking an emotional issue on the part of your boss. Try and connect with other coworkers. Do not isolate yourself. Isolation breeds bullying, so align yourself with others. There is strength in numbers. In that vein, remember that one is more likely to get injured in a dark alley than on a crowded street. Put yourself in the presence of other employees, customers, or clients that your bully boss highly regards, and you will be less likely to become a target.

4. If you are feeling overwhelmed or threatened by your boss, politely excuse yourself to go the bathroom or a meeting to diffuse the situation. Finally, while it may be tempting to talk to other employees about what is happening with your boss, it is in your best long-term interest to play it calm and cool as you build your case against your bullying boss. Don't put all your cards on anyone's table in the process. It will likely backfire.

This post has been created by Dr. Arun Sharma (MBA 2011-13). 

Suggestions and comments are welcome at- arun_sh2000@yahoo.com