Nothing is more
destructive in the workplace than difficult bosses. Every employee has a series
of bosses over their working career. Most of us have already completed our
corporate internship and are very much geared to take up managerial
responsibilities in various organizations across a multitude of functions in
the next six to eight months. This is also quite germane to the upcoming batch.
Hopefully, most of the
bosses are competent, kind, and even, worthy of trust and respect.
Unfortunately, too often, employees have difficult bosses who impact their
desire to engage and contribute at work. Most studies regarding employee turnover
and exit interviews indicate that
employees who quit their job are most frequently leaving their bosses, not
necessarily the company or their job.
It is quite an apparent fact
that when we have a problem with our boss, our options for dealing with the
situation are limited. But there definitely is way out. With some conscious
effort one can certainly overcome this difficult situation.
1. Check your emotions at the door. People who are angry, anxious, or
depressed often do not convey the message they intended to deliver. Although
you may have every right to feel angry at your undermining boss, approaching
him/her while you are angry will likely create a distraction from the real
problem. Your emotional upset becomes the focus
2. Manage your emotions and
practice some assertive conversations prior to approaching your boss. Ask a
friend who can be both objective and supportive to give you feedback (this can
be grueling when you enter the corporate life). When expressing yourself, do
not be vague in what you are describing. Give specific, concrete examples of
what you are referring to.
For example, stay away from “You
are constantly undermining my efforts in my job” because implicit in that
statement is an assumption that your boss is aware of what he/she is doing.
Instead, it is better to spell it out for your boss: “When you dismissed my
report that I submitted, which I spent a great deal of time on, I felt
overlooked and dismissed as an employee. I would really appreciate when you
give me constructive feedback you also acknowledge my efforts.”
In this assertive statement, you
are taking responsibility for your emotional reactions to your boss’s behavior,
as well as making a specific request for the future. There is no blame that is
being placed on your boss, which will put him/her on the defensive and further
undermining behaviors. Additionally, it may be helpful to express to your boss
your perception on what he/she is doing (again with cited specific examples)
and try as a team to brainstorm possible solutions to the problem.
3. When you have an incident
with your bully boss, document, document, document. If it’s not in writing, it
didn’t happen. As much as possible, try and disconnect your emotions from your
interactions with your boss. Keep in mind that an attack on you is often
masking an emotional issue on the part of your boss. Try and connect with other
coworkers. Do not isolate yourself. Isolation breeds bullying, so align
yourself with others. There is strength in numbers. In that vein, remember that
one is more likely to get injured in a dark alley than on a crowded street. Put
yourself in the presence of other employees, customers, or clients that your
bully boss highly regards, and you will be less likely to become a target.
4. If you are feeling
overwhelmed or threatened by your boss, politely excuse yourself to go the
bathroom or a meeting to diffuse the situation. Finally, while it may be
tempting to talk to other employees about what is happening with your boss, it
is in your best long-term interest to play it calm and cool as you build your
case against your bullying boss. Don't put all your cards on anyone's table in
the process. It will likely backfire.
This post has been created by Dr. Arun Sharma (MBA 2011-13).
Suggestions and comments are welcome at- arun_sh2000@yahoo.com
